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[Friday
November 6th, 2009
1:11pm] |
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you are comparing your little lost field hockey game to my professor, my friend's death...what the hell is wrong with you?? clearly one is much more important and its not fucking field hockey. get over yourself.
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[Wednesday
October 21st, 2009
3:37pm] |
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i'm tired of making you happy. i wanna make myself happy. i don't want to do this anymore. i don't enjoy it.
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[Saturday
October 17th, 2009
3:21am] |
I really don't know if I can do this anymore.
I'm so stressed out that I don't eat.
My heart murmur is going nuts cause I can't get calm.
Sleep...I don't even know what that is anymore.
My health and social life have gone down the drain.
Architecture is my life and that's all that time allows for.
Along with that:
You hurt me. You were the first I fell completely head over heels for. You told me you would never break my heart, but not only did you break it but ripped it right from my chest. You killed my spirit. Then you tell me to wait. I can't do that, but I can't get myself to move on either. You aren't B anymore. You're a depressed robot who does nothing anymore. You mope about the life you chose over me and work. What happened to the real B. The one with heart and drive and the constant smile that always left me surprised. It's not just me...we all miss you. And I need you to tell me to move on, cause I can't do it. You ruined me, so fix me-put me back together.
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[Saturday
September 12th, 2009
1:43am] |
what happened in those three days?
i'm lost.
i can't concentrate in school.
you brought me down.
and now nothing and no one can bring me back up.
....i'm just letting them fall.
if you want to be there to pick them up give me call.
...asshole.
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[Sunday
June 7th, 2009
7:17am] |
i really wish you didn't turn out to be who you are. for once i thought i had a good guy, but you clearly proved that to be wrong. it's really disappointing actually. but i guess we all have fronts every now and then that show people someone else than who we truly are.
so, the only thing worse than being in studio 24/7 is working at my current job at irem. if it didn't pay $10 an hour i would most definitely be out of there. i need the money to buy things for my new apartment which i cannot wait to move into. living in this house again reminded me of why i chose rpi.(i would have been at pepperdine if my parents didn't limit to the east coast). dallas really sucks and going from complete freedom to having your parents make you ask permission to do things again just does not make the situation any better.
ugh well back to life.
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[Friday
May 15th, 2009
2:30am] |
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my uncle, though i barely knew him and only saw him on occassion, killed himself in kirby park and still feels like i lost a part of my life along with him. weird...
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[Thursday
May 14th, 2009
11:18pm] |
I hate that you went to Afghanistan.
I hate that you like it there.
I hate that I can't hear your voice again for another year.
I hate the e-mails you send that talk about someone's death or your damn gun.
And I hate that I couldn't make you stay...
Be safe....
Luv you hanky panks.
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[Sunday
May 3rd, 2009
5:16pm] |
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what do you do when you can't be with the person you to be with?
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[Thursday
April 23rd, 2009
12:39pm] |
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I'm falling for you and you don't even know. You told me you liked me, but I couldn't answer back. Because you always say it would never work. That me being 3 1/2 hours from home was bad enough and that you don't know if you could trust me here. I've never cheated on anyone before and don't plan on starting to. Putting an end to a relationship that didn't even exist yet. I REALLY LIKE YOU AND LET'S JUST GIVE A SHOT. We're too good of friends to let anything get in the way.
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[Monday
March 30th, 2009
3:39am] |
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I think I want to drop out of architecture....
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[Wednesday
March 25th, 2009
7:22pm] |
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i just realized the architecture building doesn't have roof access. that was very smart of them. i can't imagine how many students they would have lost.
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[Monday
March 23rd, 2009
3:12pm] |
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I really don;t know how much more of this I can take.
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[Wednesday
March 18th, 2009
10:43pm] |
So, getting mad at me for being drunk is pretty gay. Weren't you the one that stopped talking to me? And now you care? I don't get boysss.
I'm so glad the weather finally decided to make up its mind. Hopefully I didn't just jinx it because I have a field trip to NYC on Friday. YAY! I get to interview people in union square park and draw pictures in some german building, but the fun park is that the majority of the day is free time. SHOPPING!!!
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[Thursday
March 5th, 2009
1:11pm] |
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spring break starts at 6 o'clock tonight with a lonely 3 1/2 hour drive home to the dirty d. i'm so happy this semester is halfway over. birthday week starts sunday, too!!=) and i get to see keiiith.
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[Saturday
February 28th, 2009
2:00pm] |
So, wednesday I got the flu->got dehydrated->went to the ER->and now I'm home because the doctor said I'm a walking disease. I think he was just worried about his son since he's a freshman at RPI too...even though I probably would not come into contact with him. So anyways, I'm home, I'm bored, and I'm behind on a lot of school work. YAY
one more week then spring break=)
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[Wednesday
February 18th, 2009
3:16pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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bright eyes-june on the west coast |
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So, I really don't know what to say. Life has just sucked this semester. Studio is taking over my life and I don't like it. I'm supposed to be the archie that has a life damnit. It really is tough though. Three large projects being due every week contunuously is killing me. I don't sleep, rarely eat, and cannot focus in my other classes.
And my mom is taking shots now for her M.S. They found another lesion=/. She's in better shape than the majority of people with MS, but it still worries me. If she would stop smoking I would feel better.
On a lighter note. Jennie and I found an apartment for next year. So Excited!!!!New wooden floors, newly painted, washer and dryer that I don't even have to pay for, and newly remodeled bathroom and kitchen.
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[Thursday
January 29th, 2009
12:51pm] |
i have no life this semster.
woo.
fucking architecture
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[Wednesday
January 21st, 2009
9:13pm] |
so, from now until 2013 i will not have a life except for the summer. thank you architecture. all i have to say is all of this better pay off.
how i love my hockey boys and their accents...
mike:let's check out that hoose.
mo: you know oot and aboot.
paddyy:good, yoo?
mo again: how do yoo feel aboot that, eh?
ahaha can't wait to live across the street from them next year<33
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[Thursday
January 15th, 2009
7:49pm] |
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I don't know what you want me to say...I told you last year it was your last chance. I come home and see you once, and all of a sudden you want me back? I just don't understand. I can't come back to you just because you want me to. Prove to me you aren't a jerk anymore. Cause I'm having a hard time believing that you aren't anymore. You have some thinking to do. Til then....
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honesty_fails's journal